Monday, March 19, 2007

SBA News in Brief: Beer, Not Taking Exams, Guide New SBA Policy-Making

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Disappointed by the administration's lukewarm response to efforts to establish a "Flexible Exam Schedule" under the old administration, the new SBA is now considering a "Flexible Exam Swap." According to inside sources, system would allow students to take each other's exams or hire a third party to take exam "when a conflict arises."

Asked for comment on the new proposal, many 1Ls were elated. Said 1L James Wilson, "The policy says conflict??! Not scheduling conflict, right? Hmm is conflict in my Black's Law Dictionary? What if my conflict is that I didn't study, does that count? Hmm..."

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The SBA president-elect is demonstrating early on the value of a prestigious top-tier legal education with the new "Beer Tab Initiative." "It has become evident to me from my Criminal Procedure and Constitutional Law II courses that we, as a government, are failing our constitutional obligations," said the president-elect. "When I skimmed through my Legalines outline of Gideon v. Wainwright, it seemed the clear rule of law that a government is obliged to pay for the rights of its constituents - and it occurred to me - how many law students out there have the right to beer to anesthetize them from the woes of law school, but just haven't taken out enough in law school loans? That's where the student government's constitutional obligation, it seems, kicks in." The new administration hopes to implement the "Charity Beer Tab" shortly after inauguration.