Saturday, March 3, 2007

"Dear Gabby" Scoops on Friedenthal's Wrinkles, CDO's Impotence

NOT THE BENE is proud to introduce advice columnist and answer guru Gabby Eastlake. Email her your questions at

Dear Gabby,

I'm the biggest civ pro groupie and Jack Friedenthal's book really gets me going. I'd like to know how old Jack Friedenthal is...? He has this cuddly Yoda look to him! -Infatuated 2L

Dear Civ Pro Fetishist,

Our dearest fertile octegenarian was born in 1931, which makes him 76. We agree that he is cuddly - but we wonder about your Star Wars Yoda reference - our John Lim Fan Club reports that Jack looks more like a Star TREK "ferengi" character than a Star Wars character. You be the judge!

Dear Gabby,

I am a 1L and I missed the meeting explaining what the CDO is. Can you enlighten me?
-Confused 1L

Dear More Likely to Get a Job,

First, kudos! You already figured out that "mandatory meetings" are better spent playing Nintendo Wii. Let's get down to the basics. CDO stands for "Career Disappointment Office." They give great advice about what skirts and ties to wear to interviews, but that's about it. For the rest of your employment needs, you're more likely to get a job if you keep doing what you're doing - skipping their meetings and using your time more wisely. But remember, even when you do land that sweet gig as a pro bono environmental attorney in Lake Woebegone, Minnesota, thanks to all your own hard work, the CDO will claim in their statistics that you got the job as part of their "Fall Interview Program."