Saturday, March 3, 2007

Bob Woodward: Supreme Court Justices Play Naked Twister, Ginsburg "Very Limber"

Almost three decades after Bob Woodward's groundbreaking inside-look at the Supreme Court in The Brethren resulted in complete radio silence by Court insiders, Bob Woodward has again breached the Court's veil of secrecy with a follow-up book, Brothas and Sistas.

Said Woodward, "I am very proud of the investigative journalism of this book. This book required dozens of interviews with clerks, anonymous Justices, and approximately 200 hours hiding inside Clarence Thomas' coat closet - I was worried that he would sense I was emanating on his penumbras."

One of the most startling revelations of the piece is that upon being made Chief Justice, William Rehnquist implemented a more "congenial, collegial" system to resolve close ideologically split cases, in an effort to mend harsh feelings left on the Court by his predecessor Warren Burger. Said one anonymous Justice, "Bill suggested naked Twister - he and Sandra Day learned it back at his Stanford days when they were dating."

Justice Rehnquist - clothed.
Another Justice, requesting anonymity, said, "when I came onto the Court in the late 80s, I was suspicious of Naked Twister for the ideological cases, given my conservative Catholic background, but I was surprised how much tension it relieved. You know how awkward it normally is when you start a new job? Not at the Supreme Court!! And as a bonus, I could channel all my Catholic guilt from our Naked Twister sessions into some GREAT DISSENTS."

Woodward said, "The Naked Twister tradition goes a long way toward explaining some of the more interesting culture war and ideology cases of the last 20 years - Cleburne, Romer, Lawrence, Roper, Bush. The liberals are just more limber - we can only surmise why - and after losing the game, one of the 'conservatives' had to side with the liberals. Kennedy generally loses the spin. Also, Ginsburg is the liberal's 'MVP' - she used to be heavily involved in gymnastics throughout high school and is still very limber. Rumor has it that Bill Clinton explicitly recruited her for that reason. We also learned that she twisted her ankle the week before Bush v. Gore - one can only imagine what the outcome would have been if she had been at the top of her game."
For GW students, Woodward's revelations bring a new level of intrigue to the recent Van Vleck competition entitled "THE ROAD TO ALITO," leaving many GW'ers asking themselves, "Is that really a road I want to walk down? Naked Twister with Samuel?"