Saturday, March 31, 2007

BIN LADEN CLAIMS RESPONSIBILITY FOR GW RANKING CRASH

A recent tape from Osama Bin Laden claimed responsibility for GW Law School's decline from 19 to 22 in the US News 2007 Law School rankings. According to the tape, "My Foggy Bottom Al-Qaeda agents have successfully stolen enough books from your Burns Library to drop your school from 19 to 22... Now that you are out of the top 20, you will all end up as personal injury attorneys! [diabolical laughter]"

According to translators who listened to the tape, another voice then can be heard whispering to Bin Laden, "Sir, most of GW's graduates already DO become personal injury lawyers... it's their CDO, sir... it's just not that great."

One unnamed CIA analyst surmised that Osama may have orchestrated the crash because "he has already taken responsibilty for every damn thing that's gone wrong - 9/11, anarchy in Iraq, the Housing Market bubble bursting, Dancing With The Stars - law school rankings were all that were left."