Saturday, February 24, 2007

Supreme Court Replaces Justices with Actors

After coverage of the Anna Nicole Smith burial trial and Britney "shavegate" overshadowed many of the Court's major decisions for the term, Chief Justice John Roberts announced a new plan designed to put the Supreme Court squarely in the spotlight by making the Court "rad" and "tubular" - justices will be phased out in public appearances, such as oral arguments, with Hollywood actors.

Chief Justice Roberts said he was inspired by the success of the recent Geico commercials which pair real customers and celebrities to tell their auto insurance stories. While casting is still in progress, the Chief said, "we feel really excited about the choices we have made so far - with Scalia, we decided to pick two actors, because he is so mercurial - Platt, for the serious Scalia, and Brad Garrett (famous as the brother from EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND), for the more congenial and humorous Scalia." Inside sources say Platt was actually chosen after the Italian-American Garrett/Scalia wouldn't stop throwing his arms in the air and yelling from the bench, "EVERYBODY LOVES ROBERTS! EEEVVVERYBODY LOVES ROBERTS!"

The Court has released the following glamour shots of the Associate Justices and actors who have been tentatively selected to replace them: